And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
