My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
