I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
