new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
