If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
