these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I can't put those talents on a resume
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
We had sex on a dog bed..
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
