I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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