I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Randomize
