I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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