As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
