Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
