Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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