The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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