i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
