Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
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