He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
