she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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