i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
And my parents said I crawled through the house
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
