but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize