babies were throwing up all over the place
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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