Three words: puerto rican gang bang
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
