i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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