Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
