I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize