Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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