Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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