He is such a slut. More and more my type.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
