I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
He? As in you personified your dick?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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