It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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