Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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