I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
