And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
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