I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I'm at about main and main street
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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