I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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