3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
the raccoons are back...
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
