Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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