the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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