If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
