And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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