girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
