OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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