My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
