Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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