ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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