either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
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