im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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