I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
