You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
