ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Randomize
