kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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