batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
