We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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