if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
My hand turned me down
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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