Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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