don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
