She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
