is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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