Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
