Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
