We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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