so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize