Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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