He asked to "fluff my boner.."
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
