who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
